Compromise with Teenagers

Nick wished for a skateboard but his mum said no.

Alan wanted a pair of world famous brand sneakers but his dad said no.

Marie desired a bigger allowance bit her parents said no.

Teenagers cannot comprehend why parents are so tight-fisted with money and parents cannot understand why children who already have it so good, keep wanting more and more.

These may be troublesome situations but parents and teenagers do not always have to quarrel over money. Compromises though domestic diplomacy can often lead to amicable solutions. It starts with both parties listening and talking to each other with good-feeling words to ease the spasms of discontent among teenagers.

Why not?
Money could be the major reasons why parents turn down a teenager’s request. Then again it may not be. Parents are usually guided by responsible stewardship over the long term.

Why money is just sufficient for the month then there can be no expensive purchases or increase in allowances. Parents scraping by on a tight budget will feel if they spend money, say, on an expensive pair of sneakers then they will have to cut back on some other goods. If their son really needs shoes he will of course be given a pair but not one which eats up a whole chunk of the family’s budget.

Some parents feel that they are spending so much on their teenager that does not need anything new at the moment.

But money is not always the reason parents say no. This is also sometimes done to inculcate certain values in their teenager, for example, thriftiness, living within one’s means, and the importance of not being materialistic or being a blind follower of the latest fad.

Safety could be another reason. For example, Nick’s mother may consider skateboarding to be far too dangerous a sport for her son. Parents do not want to see their kids get hurt unnecessarily or, worse still, break a bone.

If parents explain to kids the reasons for their objections, the kids may wind up agreeing with them or being grumpily mollified, or they may not, but at least they would know the reasons behind the rejection.

Reaching a Compromise
It is great for the parents if children finally agree that getting something expensive which they would soon outgrow would be “a waste of money” or that a particular sport could cause injury. However if the children still insist that the parents are being unreasonable, then parents should make an effort to see things from their teenagers’ point of view.

Teenagers may know that real friends should not care about what they wear but they cannot see the harm in following a fad if it is not too expensive or will no t hurt anybody.

Perhaps parents and children could lean to compromise, especially where the problem is money.